You always in me, I always with you
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, they say. But it’s just not that easy; you’ll never be the same again, as a part of you left, forever.
You have no choice, but to live with that horrible and unwanted feeling that makes every inch of your body and soul hurt so hard you don’t even dare to move.
You have no choice, but to wait for that cloudy feeling that got into your head to go away.
Or not, because you do not want to forget, you do not want to wake up one morning and find out you do not remember his voice, his face, his laugh.
You have no choice, but to wake up every morning, get dressed and go to work, focusing on everyday stuff, because the world is going on and even if you do not feel like it, you have to adapt and follow the flow.
You have no choice, but to keep on living your life knowing that the human body and mind are made to adapt, and you will adapt to this appalling and unchangeable truth. You have no choice, but to tell to yourself that if this will not kill you this will make you stronger. Because you want to be stronger, for you, for him, for everybody who is still in your life.
And even if you know that in this life you’ll not have it all again, you feel grateful for all the love and family and friends who are still with you.
You have no choice, but to give you time; the time you’ll need to get that heavy burden out your chest; the time you’ll need to feel and taste things again. And no-one can tell you how long that time should be, as that is your time, the needed time.
Hopefully one day you’ll wake up, and the unbearable burden will be gone, replaced by a sweet sweet memory that will walk with you through life, forever.
“Death does not exist. It is like a boat, cruising on the sea: when it will cross the horizon you’ll think ‘it is gone’, but really, there’s someone else on the other side exclaiming ‘there it comes’”.